I tend to get asked about or to do the things you don't ask other people. Well, let me clarify.. I tend to get asked VERY PUBLICLY. A funny story comes to mind.
It happened seven years ago while I was at work in a conservative corporate Engineering department. News had broken that another Engineer had been passing counterfeit bills all over creation. And because eventually uber-stupidity had to strike he started passing fake Franklins at casinos. So we're all at work and a coworker calls over from a few rows and asks me how somebody would make such high-quality counterfeits. The rest of the scene involved people gathering around my cube honestly expecting an answer. When I explained kindly I actually don't have experience in counterfeiting "US currency" they suggested maybe it was smarter that I tried other currency first *blinks*. Oddly enough my departure from this company probably didn't do anything to clear their minds of those misguided questions.
It would follow that my good deeds sometimes are a little off too. Again, if it's amongst friends it's not a big deal. Most people who bother to read this post do all the things I do at the very least. I think the only difference is people ask me in public or strange situations. As if ~everyone~ should know that I'm not quite all together normal.
So today three situations happened that I could only laugh about...
- This morning while I was taking the garbage out a neighbor called over to me and asked if I could help them. Break into their own house. Very specifically suggesting SHE thought I might know how to pick locks. I don't know this young lady (I know she lives there) but something about me called out to her "BURGLAR!"... Guys might ask other guys about this but I'm simultaneously vibrating breaking-and-entering and safe-to-ask to this woman? I tried not to chuckle as I grabbed my bumping keyring and went to open her front door. When I came back over she was on the phone with a girlfriend exclaiming how cool it was. She tried to give me a tip.
- While I was at the local indoor bazaar one of the employees at the Verizon kiosk decided to ask me, from about twenty feet away, if I knew how to get a fake Facebook account. Again... FTW kind of vibes am I giving off? I pointed him to FNG and told him Facebook actually didn't know it wasn't his real name. I'm curious to know what all the other people wandering around were thinking when they looked at me. To top it off I had Ceridwen with me in her stroller so my vibes must also include daddy did time.
- The third was much less awkward.. the corner gas station clerk asked me while I was trying to prepay if I could show him how to "fake Google". After a minute I figured out he meant futzing with the user agent string. I took him to User Agent Switcher on his little netbook and was on my way. Still paid full price for the gas so he isn't getting anymore free support from behind the plexishield. Seriously though, isn't it bad enough every gas station clerk always has a wireless headset on and a conversation about cigarettes and money? Do I need them bypassing registration to some support forum for frostie machines?
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